Estafet 22 | Video Interview with Hülya Erbilgin McDonough

Shalini:
Namaste everyone. Welcome to Estafet, a global conversation series where we meet regression therapists from all over the world. We explore the deeper layers of healing through their journeys, through their experiences. And today’s Estafet guest brings a very rare blend of corporate intelligence, systematic thinking and deep therapeutic wisdom. After studying industrial engineering management, master’s degree in marketing, one small incident brought her to philosophy, psychology, healing journey; and journey onwards led her to her life purpose which she has now fully dedicated to therapeutic and healing work. Joining us from Amsterdam with roots in Istanbul and Antalya, let’s welcome Hülya. Welcome Hülya to the Estafet series.

Hülya:
Thank you. Thank you Shalini. Very very nice words. Thank you very much. Very lovely welcoming.

Shalini:
You’re most welcome. And we’re here to deep dive into your journey. How has this journey been for you and what has this journey taught you, especially about yourself?

Hülya:
Yeah, very nice question. Yeah, it’s from corporate work, from engineering work coming to a regression therapy or healing energy therapy; it seems so far away, but I always look at the universe as mathematic, so actually it’s a very magical mathematic. So, if you see the mathematic in universe you’re not far away, even you are engineer. And I actually I have to say from the childhood, I have been always curious about why are we here, what are we doing here. And I always wonder the humans and there lots of therapists has that feeling, I guess. I have been also feeling I don’t belong here, so, I have to find where I am- belong or where did I come. So, it’s- It’s always- or you know, I was feeling the energies around during the childhood but it was like- I was child, I don’t believe that and my society don’t believe that- and I am coming from a family- we are, we are like really scientific, you know, science, science. So, I have- It should be proved by science. So, I was dreaming, either a genetic engineer, you know or I was still interested in philosophy and psychology but I was also like I need to prove whatever that. So, the proof is science so I have to go to the science. So, my one side was saying deeply interested in the human behaviour and science stuff. And then, at that time psychology, of course; and then the other side was saying I need to prove this -most probably an Atlantis lives and stuff, you know, science- I need to prove genetics. What is this? Blah blah, blah.
So, actually when you look at this, it’s all together and it really helps therapy work. Being analytic or process development is really helping finding the story, helping the client, their development. So, I really combine. Because you can’t escape what you are in therapy work or as therapist- while you are therapist. So, yeah, it’s- it’s- I can combine both very easily and- but the transformation from corporate work to this work wasn’t easy, I have to say. Even though this journey I find myself really strong and courageous but I still felt resistance, the fear to leave that comfort zone to come to this area. Because that’s what I learned, it’s I can do, I can learn, it’s really, you know, guaranteed area. But this is the unknown area. But universe always helps us. The divine- they, they don’t leave us alone even though we feel alone, you know. They always help you, they show you the path. 

Shalini:
Your journey feels like another lifetime even in this lifetime.

Hülya:
Yeah, exactly.

Shalini:
From engineer to maths to doing the science- healing, which is another science.

Hülya:
Exactly. I mean it was a big coincidence. I mean it’s not a coincidence, of course. I was actually not believing the all these reiki energies. I was like this. But one day I, after work in Istanbul- I was in Istanbul at that time and one day I had really bad headache and I was going to beauty center and that woman- every week I am going there so all the time telling me “oh, energy, reiki” and my, you know, ear doesn’t listen. And then, that day I was so desperate, so I was there and I was really having headache and she said “oh, lie down, I’ll give an energy to you.” But I was so desperate so I was “okay, whatever you do, whatever you do” you know. And then she put her, her hands on my head, I mean a crown chakra, you know. And then the energy started flowing. It’s like. And I’m what are you doing? What’s happening to me? So, of course I was sensitive, feeling- my feelings really strong. I know, but what is happening? And then she said energy is going through. And then she continue. And I felt really big flow going on in my body turning and, and then something really sharp come in and out from here and I just jumped from the bed and I said what did you put here? A knife or something, you know. And I am trying to look for the knife. There was no knife. And she said to me that was your sacral chakra and it’s opened now. And I said, what opened? What chakra? What sacral? And I said, what is this? And I’m still looking because it was really like a big ball come out. And then that moment, that’s. I always say that’s the. My awakening moment to this unknown energy world. And then I said, okay, whatever you do, you bring me. And then I was like drinking the whole knowledge. I was going to workshops, to another workshops and another seminar. First I initiated with Reiki. And then lots of initiations comes after and after. And yeah, quantum-

Shalini:
It’s like- Yeah, like absorbing like a magnet in, you know.

Hülya:
Yes, exactly. But that was the moment because I think that was necessary for me because I was always trying to find a proof. So, my higher self just said, “okay, this is your proof, now you got it. Go, go through it.” Yeah, that’s the-That’s my awakening afterwards. Even though I was working in corporate, my whole weekends, my whole holidays I always went to the, you know, camps, trainings. And then I started (as a) side work doing therapy. Because when you start healing yourself, you never stop. That feeling comes. You want to also help the others because you change in a good way. So, you want to touch the others, as well. Yeah, that’s. That’s- Yeah.

Shalini:
Beautiful. And come to combining. Combining the knowledge which you have been doing so far, corporate to energy work within energy work. Also you have combined the knowledge of systematic constellation, blending it to the regression therapy.
Let me directly come to Ruxandra’s question. How do you see this cooperation between regression therapy and constellation going further? And what shifts when you combine the two? How do they meet together?

Hülya:
Ah, okay Ruxandra. Hi, Ruxandra. Yeah, it happened actually very naturally because actually we can’t separate the works. It’s a holistic approach we have in regression therapy. It’s a very holistic approach. And we combine everything, you know, we touch inner child, we touch another lifetime’s memories. It’s- It could be past life, parallel life, future life, whatever. We always go through as regression. We do body work, we do family line. You can’t escape from family line. Also, family line and the spirits attachments. So, when I, you know, during my journey I learned constellation work and also, I got quantum thought technique coaching. So, in that, before Tasso, I was working in constellation field, but at that time, there was no attachments around in the field because as a therapist, I wasn’t ready for that, you know, inner child, family lines and other lifetimes. Because I learned also regression in Istanbul; we do go to other lifetimes. But After Tasso, you know, especially first day in my course, we dealt with Hans, my dear teacher Hans. We dealt with a really big obsessor on our first day. And he was like this, “oh my God, I don’t want this, but I have to deal with.” So, I really learned. You know, Hans, Marion, Janine, Martin, we all. They are so, so expertise. So, I learned also dealing with attachments, spirits and releasing the obsessors. After that, my constellation work totally changed because I’m dealing with attachments also in the field, and because I can hold that field now, you know. So, it’s not family line only or systemic constellation. It’s always- You can’t stop client’s root. You know, wherever her issue goes, (it goes) through the root. The root. I mean the root cause is a past life. We have to deal with that past life. Or if it’s attachment, we have to deal the attachment. So if it is a family line, yes, of course we deal with the family line. So, I think family constellation work will evolve with regression therapy. It’s inevitable. You can’t escape this because the field is ready, the clients are ready now. You know, we all going through the big transformation as human beings. So, we- They- They need to get learn also regression techniques as well. This is how I see.

Shalini:
And as you put it in your- in your name: holistic quantum healing. That makes it holistic.

Hülya:
Yes, holistic quantum constellation. I call. And that’s also happened to me in Baarlo, because I was calling it different (then) but it wasn’t explaining enough. Anyway, in Baarlo, in the convention, I got inspiration. One night I couldn’t even sleep. That was like downloading all night. I got so much inspired about my- my technique, I got the name that night. And also inspiration for the presenting a workshop in Marmaris. So, conventions help also our journey, you know.

Shalini:
True. And Hülya, now looking back to the early phase of your career where all this push has been happening to you. Maybe there would be many incidents, many cases or maybe personal experience with client that stayed with you and shaped the way you work today. What would you like to share with us today?

Hülya:
Okay, I have one personal experience. Just before Tasso. I mean I was actually going to apply Tasso. So, I went to Amersfoort. We met with Hans and we had a nice lunch. And yeah, okay, I decided and they mentioned to me also my dear Tulin from Istanbul. Yeah. And yeah, I have to thank Tullin also because she brought me Turkish version of Deep Healing, that blue ocean book, you know, from Hans.

Shalini:
Yes, absolutely.

Hülya:
And it really helped me, now, I mean, I just remember. So, she brought me that from Istanbul to Amsterdam. But my whole education, the training, it really helped me also to read Turkish version of that book, you know. And that day was also magical. Again, like I say, all my journey, I always speak and I try to hear. Sometimes, of course I can’t hear. I’m also a human. And that day I was very happy. I decided. And then I was out, from Tasso, and it was a sunny day. Normally in Holland, we have not so much sunny days. It was sunny, shining, very nice day. And I was so cheerful. And then when I was walking, I just came into a building, old building. I found out it’s a windmill. And then I- just my, you know, my feet were walking in and I go. Go to climb to another room. And then I sat there and I remember I was- a whole life was- was in that windmill. And I was a girl from mediaeval times. And I remember that some scenes from that lifetime. And I sat there- and I – sat there and I was- like remembering. There was also a guy. Some memories come. And then a guy came, seems a staff. And he said to me, “what are you doing here? How can you be here?” I mean it wasn’t open for the people- 

Shalini:
For public.

Hülya:
Public, yeah. And I said, “I don’t know, I just came.” “How did you find here?” he said to me. So, that was also- I was like, “okay.” And then, “okay, sorry, blah blah, blah.” I got out, I was shocked. And I said, okay, definitely there is something in this location as well. I was overwhelmed and I said, “okay, I’m doing it, a right decision.” And yeah- And then, at that moment, a guy on the street gave me a boat tour. He said he can’t make it, “you can make the boat tour.” And I took the ticket, it’s free. And I went to boat and we did the boat tour. It was obvious- I was actually feeling and relieving that lifetime memory because it wasn’t strange to me. Everywhere- was look familiar and feeling really good. So, this is like a living therapy. At that moment happened. It was very interesting. And I always say, whenever you are ready, the healing is there. Sometimes you don’t even need your therapist. You can do your own therapy. And it happened that day to me. Really amazing. Yeah. This is my example.

Shalini:
At the same time you were open to receive it, you’re open to connect with it. That’s really, really remarkable.

Hülya:
Yeah, really. I never forget that day. And that was like, “hey, my child,” my higher self saying, “you are doing a good job.” Okay? You feel it. It’s very touching, that memory to me. I still feel the joy inside me.
There was another example, also, when I give the therapy- that’s also very interesting. One of my friends mentioned her friend is- time to time her friend is coughing. But the coughing is really like short coughing, and always there. It started suddenly, and then, sometimes she speaks like- really a man and you know, the voice (was) very like a man, they said. But she’s afraid of regression therapy. She’s afraid of any therapy. You know, she- she has resistance. So she (my friend) mentioned about me, but she resisted. So, she offered, “why don’t we go there, to drink coffee?” Normally I don’t accept these things, but that was my friend’s friend. I said, “okay, let’s drink coffee.” Maybe she can be open because I want to also help, because her husband is having difficulty. She is having difficulty, you know, I know that resistance can be overcome. You know, we can overcome that. Anyway, she come with her, with my friend and we met and she drank her coffee. We talked little bit, you know, and then suddenly she started coughing. And then, she started talking differently. Of course, for me it’s normal. For my friend it’s not normal. She was like- frozen. And then the session started automatically, and she was there, my friend, I said, “go out” because she started vomiting and- yeah, she started coughing. Coughing and vomiting. So it was- I don’t forget that because it’s the session. We don’t need any bridge or something. Session started. She started coughing and vomiting and talking in a different voice. And you know what? After, I’ll shortcut what I am telling, after we find out the story. Actually, that was the pseudo-obsessor. Because it was like a little boy, inner child of the past life. I was thinking, you know, I was thinking different. When I hear the story and stuff, I was shocked.
It was in the fire. He (got) stuck in the house. He couldn’t escape. And he, you know, the smoke came into the lungs. So much smoke. So, he was coughing and vomiting and died like that. I was shocked because I was thinking (about) totally different obsessor stuff. I found out the inner child. Just the inner child of the past life dying in fire because of the smoke. But the voice was, you know, that was also interesting to me. So, we have to be open and ready for anything. We can’t assume what is coming. 

Shalini:
Absolutely, yeah. As you likely said, whenever the time comes, universe give the solution. Maybe that was the time for healing of that child. And you came to have that coffee with the child and the adult.

Hülya:
Yeah. And the coughing stops after the session, talking that way, stops. All of them stop immediately, you know, because we found the child. Child. See, we heal the child. Yeah.

Shalini:
And coming further to that, you conduct many workshops. I’ve seen couple of them. What are the deepest sense of satisfaction? Like this story, which you have just mentioned, that you feel this work through truly matters.

Hülya:
Like that moment, you know, she was suffering, whole family suffering, for example. And we did our job and now she’s free of that suffering. That really gives me big satisfaction. Because we can help others with this work. We can make others life better. Of course, that depends on their timing, their self. That’s definitely. But we have a touch. So, that really gives me satisfaction. And I can be myself in this work. I don’t need masks, I don’t need to, you know, close myself or something. In corporate, I need to be in some shapes still. I can’t stop myself showing, of course, but still there are shapes, there are masks, you know, stuff. But here in this work, I am fully myself. I am there always for my client. And it’s- It’s natural talent, you know, it’s giving from God, from divine. And then it’s like a joy. Then it’s not a work for me, that’s also satisfy me because I enjoy. Sometimes I got more enjoyment from workshops than clients. So, it’s really giving me life energy that also satisfies me. Because after working in the corporate I was draining, but in this job, I was shining. Not every time, of course. There are difficult clients, difficult sessions, you also got tired. But still you have satisfaction, you know, that’s really, really making me happy in this job.

Shalini:
And I really like the way you described so beautifully that you don’t have to wear any mask, neither you nor the client. And that is the beauty of this work. To be yourself.

Hülya:
Authentic yourself. Yes.

Shalini:
That’s really wonderful. But Hülya, like every meaningful journey has its challenges, has its ups and downs, tests, we may call it. So, is there any challenges that you have faced while transitioning from corporate to this full time healing work?

Hülya:
Oh yeah, of course.

Shalini:
And how did you move through them?

Hülya:
It wasn’t easy, it took years, you know, it wasn’t so easy. I decided so many times. But decisions and making decisions come true to life totally different, you know, I always decide, “oh okay, I’m stopping. I do my- my job, my healing, my therapy job.” But didn’t work like that because you have also programs- mind programs from society, from your family. And when you start doing, telling about this, your around friends, family saying what are you doing? Are you crazy? You have a really good career, you know-

Shalini:
Finance. Stability and then shifting. Of course. There will be so many advices from all the near and dear ones.

Hülya:
Definitely. They didn’t support in that way.

Shalini:
So, how did you push them and keep forward?

Hülya:
I mean, again, I got help. Yeah. Because then, you know, I finished a really big project and I was gonna give presentation to whole bank. Before that night, before that day- night I fell from the stairs.

Shalini:
Oww.

Hülya:
And I broke my connected backbone. And next day I have a presentation. I finished the big project, I’m gonna give the presentation and stuff anyway. But of course, nothing happened like that because I stayed in the bed one month, I couldn’t even stand. I mean, it seems horrible, but it was a awakening, again, to me.
So, in that month I really thought about it, what I am doing, why I am here, blah blah, blah. So, I decided to. Because there was always a call to me. I was in Istanbul at that time. And don’t forget the stage. We all have stage issues, visible- visibility issues as a therapist. So, I cleaned that now. But at that time, I was still having that visibility issue. Because one of my lifetimes I (was)hanged on the stage because of the healing job. So, you know, that’s why when I look back now, I understand why it happened, why I fell down the stairs, because I can’t go on the stage to present my project there. It was big stage, you know, like so many people, not a small audience.
So, anyway, that’s also our therapy work. We always find these lifetimes. It’s very important for us also. Anyway, that month I have so much time to think and I have always a call to go abroad and leave. So, I decided, I tried many times, but it didn’t happen. And then I decided to go abroad, leave the job and just have a break in somewhere. Europe or even Australia. That’s why I am here now in Amsterdam. So, that transformation happened, you know, because of that incident, again. Because I was so out (of) my path. But still I was saying myself, “I left the job, I’m going to start the super work, energy work, therapy work.” But I found myself in another bank in Amsterdam, working in it. Yeah, because it took another 10, 11 years in Amsterdam, also working bank and also healing job, also therapy work in the evenings, weekends, side work.
So, what I learned, you can’t force the timing. You have to wait and trust. Okay, I really wanted to do that shift. But I have to also be patient and wait for the divine timing, you know. So, it wasn’t easy to wait, because I was impatient- I want to do, but then I understand I have to be in that journey. That was my life journey, my life plan. Because I learned a lot of things in the system work, as well in the corporate work. Now if I am good therapist, I think I am, you know-

Shalini:
Yes.

Hülya:
-because I learned a lot of systems, a lot of analytic thinking and system development. You, you’re there- I mean, in there I was developing the systems, but here I am working with the human, but the similar approach. So, I have a good approach. So it should be. I should be there. So, like I can say there are challenges. You want- sometimes you are impatient, but you need to trust the universe timing, the divine timing. And then you complete your transformation. So, when time come, it happened. So, I can say like that if that, you know, I learned also trusting the flow.

Shalini:
And it’s so courageous to say that even through that accident, I got a divine help.

Hülya:
Yeah, I know. They also said to me, you are crazy. Oh my God, you broke your, you know, back. And you’re saying it’s a gift. Yeah, it’s a gift. I think, because it’s a gift. The illnesses, if you can find the gift of that illness, then you are free of those illnesses, you know, you are healed already. Because I think that’s a big call of the soul. The every illness a call awakening call for me. I look at that way. Yeah.

Shalini:
Beautiful. And Hülya, as part of the Estafet tradition, whom would you like to nominate next as Estafet guest, and what will be your question to her or him?

Hülya: Yes, I want to invite my dear friend of colleague Banu Gurun from Istanbul.

Shalini:
Oh, very beautiful.

Hülya:
Yes. She’s living next to my family house after I move Amsterdam. She came to Moda. So she’s also neighbour. Yes. She’s a regression therapist and she’s doing shamanic journeys.

Shalini:
Oh, okay.

Hülya:
It’s interesting. So, I want to ask her how does she combine shamanic journey and regression together? You know, if she can combine it or. Or how it’s combining, you know.

Shalini:
Yeah, that’s really interesting. That’s really interesting. And what will be your message to Earth Association? You are part of so many committees in Earth Association. You have been working for a long time as a volunteer in Earth. So, your message for Earth Association and fellow regression therapists really matter.

Hülya:
Yes, thanks, Janine to introduce EARTh to me, that was my first module. She said, you need to be in EARTh PR Committee. I said, “why?” “Yes, you need to be.” So, she put me to the Earth PR Committee. I am very thankful and I’m very enjoying being in Earth Association because as regression therapists, we need a community together.
Like I say, I was feeling I don’t belong here, but lots of us feeling that. But we have a community. We know each other, we can speak our language, you know, we can understand when we talk easily, we understand each other, not a daily friend, when we have a conversation with a friend on the street, you know.
So, for that we need a community. We need a space to learn, to do our work, our personal work. Because whenever I was in convention or conference, I had my personal journey as well. I had so many clearings in the conventions- or inspirations. Like I mentioned, it’s a good space. Not only we are having healing, learning, transformation, also we bring healing and transformation to that location. We were witnessed that it happened in Kemer, it happened in Baarlo, it happened in Marmaris, all around, wherever we are.
So, for me, let’s keep this community. That’s very important. Let’s always try to come to conventions, conferences. There are a lot of webinars now, also a mentorship program. EARTh is a supporting place for therapists. We need that space. So I am working as volunteer also my fellow therapists, you can also do your contribution. Please do whatever you can do also, because that’s our space, our family, you know, that’s. I think my message is this. Yeah.

Shalini:
Yeah. And that’s like home. And all of us are family members contributing some way or the other to our own home.

Hülya:
Definitely. Yes. Because every, like you say you did, really said well, every family member can bring something. So, let’s bring something to our family, our community.

Shalini:
That’s really wonderful and really nice and really wise. Thank you so much, Hülya. I love talking to you. It has been- It has been not only a conversation but an opening, and also the trust in universe in the healing journey, as well as the timings and which is equally important. So, that’s what today I learned from you. Thank you so much for being our guest.

Hülya:
Thank you. Thank you so much, Shalini, to having me here. Thank you very much. It was very joy for me also.

Shalini:
And thank you all of you, my dear EARThlings who are watching and are being part of this Estafet journey. We would love to hear your reflections, share your experiences with us in the comments. Our next guest will be Banu Gurun. And also tell me, whom do you think she would pass the baton to? Stay connected with Estafet. Stay connected with EARTh. Thank you so much, love. You have a lovely day and I’m wishing you very happy New Year. Thank you.

Hülya:
Happy New Year. Thank you, Shalini.