January 2014
by Athanasios Komianos
iChristmas has always been an extremely stressful period for me. It was a time when the pressures of daily life eased, and long-standing issues came to the surface. Suddenly, everything had to change. From decorations to clothing, everything had to be different. During Christmas, you couldn’t remain indifferent to your neighbors or concern yourself with ordinary matters. Suddenly, you were expected to be polite, kind, and cheerful. Regardless of your character or temperament throughout the year, you had to be a good person—compassionate and understanding. The suffering, death, or hunger of people around you might not have concerned you the rest of the year, but at Christmas, you were supposed to understand them and share your “excess” of love with them. Yes, suddenly, an abundance of love emerged. All these people would abandon their everyday masks and put on other masks instead—masks of compassion and generosity.
Municipalities, towns, and cities would compete to have a bigger tree, better decorations, and fancier lights. Shops were even worse. Everyone had to become more extravagant to attract customers and encourage them to buy gifts for their loved ones. But, as always, there is another side to the coin. Gifts create a problem: Who should I buy for? How can this represent my affection, and for whom not? Can I be fair, or at least fair enough?
For me, the dilemmas didn’t end there. You also had to see all the relatives you had lost touch with over the year. Even if you didn’t like them, you had to be polite.
We live in a period of American hegemony, and this is what has made the “spirit” of Christmas so universal. Microcultures are forced to adopt a model imposed by the macro-world. Long-standing traditional practices had to be abandoned in favor of bigger, “better” foreign (American) traditions. Christmas can no longer be imagined without 1950s American music and songs. You cannot sit down at a Christmas table without eating a stuffed turkey. You cannot enjoy Christmas without a tree in your living room where you can place your gifts. You cannot spend Christmas without watching Home Alone for the hundredth time. In my humble opinion, this is cultural submission to a well-served foreign meal imposed upon us.
So, what happens if you put a balloon in a vacuum chamber? BOM! With no pressure, the air inside expands, and the balloon bursts. What happens when the pressures of daily life are suspended? BOOM! Inner pressures rise to the surface, and long-standing issues emerge. Some of the most striking sessions I have experienced in my practice occurred during the holiday season, especially around Christmas. During Christmas, family issues mostly come to the surface, while at other holiday times, more personal issues arise. This is what I have noticed in my practice; I do not know what you have noticed, but I am sure you have felt similar patterns.
In conclusion, by continuing to hold therapy sessions during the Christmas period, I argue that you are actually helping people even more than in your daily practice because the issues that emerge are often deeper, more powerful, and longer-lasting than the ones we usually address.
Therefore, Merry Christmas, and try to preserve your country’s traditional customs and practices as much as possible, avoiding commercially imposed rituals that overwhelm us today.
May the coming year make us wiser and deeper.
With love to you all.
